Heaven and Nevaeh presented me with several new experiences as a pet Mom, including having a bonded pair. That’s not something I had any prior experience with, and these girls were definitely bonded. They loved each other very much, and when they came to us, that was all they had – each other. They huddled together to sleep and never let each other out of sight. They went outside together, to the Vet together, and to the groomer together. We tried to make sure they were never separated while they became comfortable with us. Thankfully, they quickly came to understand that our home brought them much more than just each other to count on. They now had a new Mom and Dad, as well as other furry siblings who were there for them. The girls blossomed in our home, and I am forever grateful that they were able to join us. They taught me so much, and I will treasure those lessons and memories forever.
As time went on, I saw that the girls relied less on each other. But there were times when they did still need to know the other was there – like trips to the Vet or groomer, or other stressful situations. They still slept together at night, and we often found them sleeping together during the day. It was the sweetest relationship but wasn’t without arguments. They had their little fights – usually over food when Heaven would get possessive. They always became friends again very quickly though and would be the first to defend each other.
When the time came to say goodbye to Nevaeh, one last decision needed to be made – should Heaven be present for the euthanasia? Never having a bonded pair before meant that this was never something I had to think about. I researched for hours to find something to give me an answer, but nothing fit our situation. What I ended up doing was taking parts from different sources and coming up with my own process to make a decision. I wanted to share this with you in case anyone else is struggling with this same situation.
Whether you decide to have your other dog(s) present is a decision only you can make, and each situation may be very different. This is just the process I used.
Deciding whether to have Heaven present during Nevaeh’s euthanasia was a personal choice that depended on various factors. Here are some considerations that helped me make the decision:
Assess Heaven’s temperament: Consider Heaven’s personality and how she typically reacts to stressful or emotional situations. Some dogs may become distressed or anxious when witnessing the euthanasia process, while others may find comfort in being present with their companion. If Heaven is generally sensitive or easily stressed, it may be better to have her in a separate location during the procedure.
Consult with your Veterinarian: Discuss your concerns and options with your Veterinarian. They can provide guidance based on their experience and knowledge of Heaven’s behavior. They may be able to offer insights into how Heaven might react and whether it would be beneficial for her to be present.
Consider the impact on Heaven’s grieving process: Dogs can experience grief and loss when a companion passes away. Some experts believe that allowing surviving pets to witness the euthanasia process can help them understand and process the loss. However, it’s important to consider Heaven’s emotional well-being and whether being present during the euthanasia may cause more distress or confusion.
Create a peaceful environment for Heaven: If you decide to have Heaven present, ensure that the environment is calm and supportive. Consider having a familiar blanket or toy nearby to provide comfort. You may also want to have a trusted person present to provide support and reassurance to both Heaven and yourself.
Trust your intuition: Ultimately, trust your instincts and what feels right for both Nevaeh and Heaven. You know your pets best and can make the decision that you believe will be most beneficial for their well-being.
Remember, there is no right or wrong answer in this situation. It’s a deeply personal decision, and whatever choice you make, it should be based on what you believe is best for both you and your pets.
Ultimately, we decided not to have Heaven present. We felt that her protectiveness of Nevaeh would make the procedure very stressful for Heaven. I am glad that was the decision I made. Heaven had spent a great deal of time with Neveah in the days leading up to her final appointment and I believe had already said goodbye. Dogs know things long before we do, sometimes. Thankfully, Heaven seemed to take the transition of being without Nevaeh pretty well. I really think that she did most of her grieving before Nevaeh passed; she knew long before we did that it was Nevaeh’s time. Dogs are much more attuned to the health of their housemates than I ever imagined. Now Heaven has us and the other pups in the house to fill that void, and she is doing very well. Her personality is blossoming even more, and we love her so much!
Nicole Laber, Fospice Mom, and Board Treasurer